Since Things Became Complicated
by Lady Karinsky
Summary: Former lovers now trying to work the "just friends" angle and finding out that this friendship thing might not be that easy.
1. Chapter 1

"Are we ready?" Jess shouted into the loft, trying to hurry the missing member of their party. "Nick!" She was already nervous about this, their first double date since things got "complicated", and now she had a sudden fear that maybe Nick was having second thoughts too. Kai was drumming her fingers on the door while Jess and Ryan stood next to her. "Is he all right in there?" Ryan asked, looking down the hall. Jess shrugged and took another sip of her tea. Ryan watched in amazement as this tiny woman drank from what looked like a liter sized travel mug.

Nick came jogging to the door, "Yeah, yeah, I'm here, just had to put my Grandies on."

Jess looked confused. "Your _Grandies_?"

"Yeah, Kai got them for me." He said excitedly, lifting his pant leg to reveal oddly thick brown socks with copper fleck in them.

Kai laughed. "They suck the toxins out of your body or some crap like that."

Nick chuckled. "I'm wearing two pairs!" Pushing his pant leg back down the foursome headed to the elevator. Once outside, Jess began a quick overview of their plans.

"Okay, so the movie starts at 7:30, its 5:30 now, so should we get dinner or drinks first?"

"Couldn't we just have drinks with dinner?" Ryan said.

Nick scoffed "What are we, animals?"

"_Animals_? When did Schmidt get here?" Jess asked jokingly.

Nick rephrased it. "I mean, the best places for drinks are the worst for food, and vice versa. You don't drink where the fudge is packed."

Ryan, Kai and Jess scrunched their noses in unison. "Ew." Jess said. "Okay, well drinks then, where to?"

Kai jumped in, "Oh, how about that dive over on Forest?" Nick nodded in agreement. "Yeah, okay. I know the bartender there. She holds the record for most Hell's Angels serviced in one night. _Drinks_, I mean, get your minds outta the gutter!" he yelled to the raised eyebrows. They began to walk towards their destination when Jess stopped. "Oh, I need to call CeCe and tell her where to meet us!"

"Wait, I thought this was a double thing?" Nick said, secretly relieved there would be another couple to ease the weirdness.

"Yeah, I know, but she's just gonna have drinks with us and meet us at the loft later." She explained, trying to get her phone from her bag while holding her huge drink. She was obviously having trouble when Nick recommended she put the tea down.

Nick sighed with slight annoyance. "Jess, why are you carrying that thing around anyway, we're on the way to get drinks!"

"It's a really good batch, I didn't want to waste it!" she exclaimed.

"Here, just lemmee hold it." Nick said, reaching towards the mug.

Jess yanked it out of his reach, still rooting around in the purse with her free hand. "No, I got it, if I can just get ..."

"Jess, you want me to take that for you?" Ryan asked politely, trying to diffuse the growing tension.

"She's just being stubborn – come on Jess, gimmee the cup!" He said, reaching for it again, only to have it yanked away again. This time though, the lid didn't come with it and Jess caught a mighty splash of it, her mouth agape as she watched it drip down the front of her dress. Nicks hands went to his mouth, while Ryan winced at the site of his girlfriend now covered in dark brown liquid.

"Nick!" Jess yelled.

"Jess, I am so sor –" Nick was cut off by the feeling of lukewarm tea being thrown in his direction. Kai jumped back to avoid the splash. The two couples stood several feet apart, Kai and Ryan watching their companions seethe. Ryan quietly took Jess by the shoulders. His teacher instincts kicked in, and as if he were speaking to his students he said "Okay guys, I know this seems like a bad start, and it is, but let's get changed real quickly and see if we can't start fresh, alright?"

Nick and Jess glared at each other for a moment longer and Jess turned back towards the building with Nick trailing behind. As Kai and Ryan watched them leave, Kai let out a sigh. "So definitely drinks first."

They were still arguing when they stepped off the elevator.

Look, Jess, I said I'm sorry, what more do you want? I didn't come out of this unscathed either, this was my best button down!"

Jess scoffed, "Maybe if you'd just admit you were being a jerk…" As she reached the door she fumbled for her keys, her anger causing her fingers to tremble as she tried to unlock the door. The key was hard to get in, at first sticking and not turning, then not going in entirely. Pulling hard, she tried to free the stuck key while Nick continued to yell.

"Oh, I'm a jerk because I didn't want you to spill tea all over yourself, excuse me Jessica for looking out for you!"

Still fumbling, she tried jamming the key in again, but this time it just slipped sideways and the set fell to the floor with a loud jangle. She let out a groan in frustration. "Auugh! It's not your job to look out for me, that is my boyfriend's job, which last time I checked was Ryan, not you!"

Nick stopped dead at that. As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. Nick put his hands on his hips, and shook his head at the ground, trying to absorb the shock of what she had just said, not that they weren't true, but that she had said it with so much venom.

"Nick, I…"

"No, Jess you're right. You're 100% right. Let's just get inside, get changed, and get this over with." He said, gesturing towards the door. Jess lowered her eyes, and quietly picked up the keys, trying once again to get the door open. Nick watched her struggle, determined not to help, but more than that he wanted to get as far away from her as he could. But as he saw her slowly begin to crumble, his gut took over and he walked toward the door.

Touching her lightly on the back, he moved her aside. "Here, gimmee the key."

"It won't work, I've been telling you guys all week that this lock is broken!"

"Would you just trust me? Gimmee the key. Please?" Jess reluctantly handed over the key and watched as Nick fussed with the lock for a few moments, and then heard the click of it releasing. Nick straightened and placed the keys back in her palm. She smiled and wiped her tear away with a soft "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He said in a hushed tone. They stood there like that for a few moments before Jess realized her hand has in his, his thumb gently pressing into palm of her closed fist where she held her keys. He reached up and wiped the last tear from her face, his hand moving from her cheek to her ear and into her hair.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a jerk. I guess I'm still figuring this out." He said with resignation.

His words hardly registered. When he touched her, all her attention had flown to those points of contact, and she'd lost her train of thought completely. Looking up to see if Nick had noticed, she realized he was standing far too close. There in the hallway, where anyone might see.

She didn't care.

Nick met her gaze. Lips slightly parted, eyes dark and shadowed behind half-lowered lids. Jess knew she was breathing too fast, that her heart was thumping at an alarming pace beneath her ruined dress. Nick seemed to have stopped breathing entirely.

She saw – felt – his every motion as though time had expanded, slowed down to let her capture each expression fully. His free hand moved down to her shoulder, then his palm flattened slowly against her, his thumb grazing into the hollows over her clavicles. When he pressed gently, securing her against the door, Jess's eyes fluttered shut and she forgot everything else in the world – their arguments, the heartbreak, and least of all the two people downstairs awaiting their return.

Even though she knew what came next, the brush of his lips over hers was startling. She gasped into his mouth, light-headed with want for things she had fooled herself into having forgotten, but her body knew the truth. His breath was hot, and tinted with alcohol. When he pulled away, her mouth felt cold.

Opening her eyes, she watched as Nick lifted his hands away, his expression as wide and astonished as a deer in headlights. For a moment he stood frozen, hands raised like a robbery victim, then he reached down beside her and turned the knob and opening the door.

After a long moment they both drew breath at the same time, as if about to speak to one another. Jess had not a coherent word in her head though, not one she could pin down long enough to utter. Nick's silence was no surprise. Finally, he nodded his head and strode back towards the elevator, never having said a word.

Jess backed into the apartment and leaned against the door, closing herself in and pressing her cheek against the cool wood.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Once inside the safety of the elevator, Nick's mind settled into a tangle of confusion, fear and disgust. He'd done it again; he'd kissed her when he shouldn't have and now he was scared shitless. How mad is she gonna be? Will she tell Ryan? Not that Nick was scared of Pretty Brit McSissyPants, but he couldn't bear it if he had once again ruined a relationship for her because he couldn't keep his friggin hands to himself.

Nick hadn't noticed that the elevator had stopped, so when the doors opened he panicked and hit the close button. He really needed a minute. Okay, maybe he needed a lot of minutes, but for right now he just needed some time. But he wasn't going to get that, because at that moment the doors opened again to a smiling Kai and a concerned looking Ryan.

"Nick? Hey I just got a text from Jess, she said the date's off? I thought she was just going to change?"

Nick was caught off-guard but recovered as well as Nick Miller could. "Uh, yeah, well you know girls and their clothes, so yeah, um Kai, should we go ahead and uh…" he sputtered, glancing quickly between the two. Kai giggled a bit and with raised eyebrows said "Sure, yeah. Well, Ryan, if Jess changes her mind –"

Ryan nodded his head and traded places with Nick in the elevator. "We'll text you. Another time, yeah?" The doors closed leaving a stunned Nick lobby. Kai tugged Nicks jacket. "Come on, I'm starving!"

Jess turned to face the empty loft. What now? Her heart was racing, and she was unsure if it was from the kiss in the hall or the ensuing panic. She raced to her room, quickly removing her dress and looking for a replacement. What was she going to tell Ryan? Should she tell Ryan at all? She recalled how Sam reacted to the same news and she did not want a repeat of that. Dammit Nick! All she had to do was get through this night and then she could figure it out. But how could she sit through a dinner next to her amazing boyfriend and look at that stupid turtle face without punching him straight on? She pulled the new dress on and pulled up quickly on the zipper, giving it a quick smooth down in the mirror.

And then she stopped. Making a decision, she went for her purse and pulled out her phone and shot a quick text to Ryan.

_So sorry, but I have to cancel tonight. I'm just not up to going out after all. Please apologize to Kai and Nick for me, and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Xoxo J_

Tossing her phone onto the bed, Jess sat down herself and sighed. There. At least she wouldn't have to see him right away.

"Jess?" his voice called from somewhere inside the loft.

Jess whispered to herself. "Oh my God."

"You alright?" he called out again, seemingly getting closer to her room.

Jess rushed to her door and shut and locked it. "Uh, yeah, just not really feeling well, think I'm gonna turn in." she yelled out.

Ryan approached her bedroom door and knocked. "Jess? You sure you're ok?"

"Is Nick out there?" She asked.

"No, he and Kai went on to the bar. You want me to get you something?" Ryan offered.

_Ugh, he's so sweet._ "No! Nope, just gonna stay in here. Alone. It's Pukington City in here, super smelly, so I'm just gonna let things clear out and I'll call you later, ok?"

Quiet for a moment, he replied. "Oh, ok. Well feel better."

"Yep, will do." She said quickly.

"You call if you need anything." He offered again.

"Uh, huh!"

Listening as his footsteps grew fainter, Jess waited for the sound of the front door to shut and slowly crept out of her room to make sure she was alone. Releasing a sigh, she did the only thing that made any sense right now and called Cece.

Nick picked at his mozzarella sticks, pushing them around and half listening to Kai.

"So when he finally came out of the dressing room, he was wearing this metallic blazer, and the lady at the register was making eyes at him, and he's all like James Dean about it, gives her a business card, and walks out of the store. You know what the card said? It was a business card for the VA hospital. He thinks he's so suave." She said laughing.

"Hmm. That's funny." Nick said absentmindedly.

"You ok? Usually when I tell a story about my grandpa, you get all twinkle eyed."

"I don't get twinkle-eyed!" He said, coming to attention.

"Twinkle-eyed. Moon faced. Twitterpated." She listed.

Nick laughed heartily at that. "Twitterpated? Wow…"

"May as well put his picture on a TigerBeat cover." Kai looked at him with a teasing smile.

_She's awesome_ he thought. He'd like to think that sometime in the last year he'd matured, even a little bit. And looking at her smiling face he knew he couldn't keep this from her. He thought of the best/worst case scenarios. Best case: He'd tell her, she'd be turned on and suggest a threesome. Worst case: she'd end it, never talk to him again, tell Tran, and he'd lose not only a kick-ass girlfriend, but his magical best friend as well. Since this wasn't a porno, he was banking on the latter. And since he could practically hear his sweat glands beginning to work, he knew he had to tell her now.

"Hey, I gotta tell you something." He began.

"Oh, that's a serious voice." She sadi, bringing her own voice down to match his.

Nick chuckled. "Yeah. Um – geeze this sucks – when I was upstairs, something happened and –"

"You kissed Jess." She stated matter-of-factly.

"Whaaat? Are you taking crazy pills, you crazy lady? That's not … yes that's exactly what happened." He said, defeated.

"And then what?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Nick asked, confused.

Kai clarified. "Well, did you talk, did you make out?"

Nick was surprised she wasn't yelling yet. "No, hell I just got outta there! Kai I'm so sorry."

Kai seemed to be thinking it out. "It's fine."

Nick was taken aback. "Really?"

"Yeah, I mean … that was a pretty serious relationship right?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah it was." he agreed.

"And you guys agreed to break up for good reasons, right?" she said, more stating than asking.

Nick thought about that. Did they agree? He guessed so. Good reasons? That he wasn't so sure, but Jess seemed to think so, so that put a nail in it he thought. "Yeah."

"OK then. You slipped, and if there's one thing I appreciate it's that you we're honest about it, so we'll move on. But this won't happen again, right?" Her eyes were settled on him, not angry, but more expectant than anything.

"No, never." Nick said immediately.

"Okay. So would you like to hear about the time grandpop tried rollerblading? Or would that be too much excitement for you?" She asked, reaching over and taking a mozzarella stick.

Nick smiled as she launched into the anecdote. But that last word rang in his ear. _Never_.

He'd never kiss Jess again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Nick woke up the next morning to a pounding migraine. Slowly he turned to get out of bed and was grateful for the warm carpet of Kai's room under his toes rather than the hard wood of his own abode. Sighing and bringing a hand to his throbbing temple, he tried to remember the evening before – there had been booze. A lot of booze. And a drunken game of minigolf, followed by pizza. And – _Jess_.

Nick groaned, remembering the lusty catalyst for the evening. What the hell had he been thinking? Kai was pretty cool about it, but he realized that while this couldn't happen again, it was probably bound to. Living together was not working as well as he had hoped, but he had little choice in the matter. His body relaxed back into the memory of it, the warmth of her lips and the familiar curve of her figure. The scent of her had filled his senses, his lungs taking in every bit that they could. He couldn't remember how he had been able to tear himself away from her, all he could think was how he needed to stop, he had to stop _now_ – and then breaking away. It had felt like his very soul was being ripped from him, and he could feel the energy between them evaporate into the air, the once crushing intensity now an afterthought. Looking into her shocked - albeit turned on - eyes, he knew he had to get out of there as quick as possible before he carried her into the apartment again. And now he had to face her, and she was gonna want to talk. And he was gonna have to _apologize_. And it would be a _thing_ now, hanging between them. And then there's Ryan. Nick actually did feel a little guilty here, he genuinely kinda liked the guy, as much as Nick Miller could like the guy who had taken his place.

Kai shifted in the bed behind him, and looking back at her he tried to shake off the morning fog and rose, making his way to the bathroom. He heard the text buzz of his phone and went back to his pants on the floor, cycling through the pockets until he found it.

_Nick can you come in early not feeling too hot – Clyde_

This was Nick's out and he was gonna take it. This way he could put off the inevitable and make a little scratch while doing so. He fired off a quick _yes_ and tossed his phone onto the bed, resuming his morning routine.

* * *

Jess had spent most of the night lying in the dark and assuaging her guilt. It ran the gamut from tearful to indignant, and she had fallen asleep murmuring apologies. She woke up to the sound of boisterous laughing in the living room. She didn't hear Nick, which was good. Maybe he had stayed at Kai's. It was Saturday, so Winston wasn't up yet, but she definitely heard two people. Who else was…?

"_Ryan_!" she exclaimed to herself in a hushed tone. Throwing the blankets off, she bounded over to the mirror and tried in vain to smooth down the mass of curls that had fused with her tears and become plastered to her face. She threw on her robe and made her way out the door and into the noise.

"Hey beautiful!" Ryan said, standing there like a perfect boyfriend, holding perfect flowers. _Perfect boyfriend is_ _perfect_ Jess thought.

"Are we looking at the same thing man?" Schmidt said, his concern more for Jess's disheveled appearance than her feelings.

"All the same." Ryan said with a smile, ignoring Schmidt's eye roll.

"Um, what are you doing here?" Jess asked, casually crossing her arms.

"Well, I wanted to see if you were feeling better, maybe if you'd like to get a coffee?" He said, using the flowers to point to the door.

Jess turned to stone for a beat, quietly panicking before deciding. "Yeah, sure! Let me just, um… get dressed and we'll go." Jess headed for the hall.

Schmidt looked her over. "Oh, you mean this carefully crafted ensemble is not fit for coffee but it's a treat for our eyes?"

"Shut up Schmidt!" She bellowed before slamming her bedroom door.

Schmidt gave Ryan a slap on the back. "You try to help those you love." He said with a sigh, and he went out the door.

Safely in her room, Jess began to rummage through her closet while simultaneously practicing her confession. "Ryan, I have something to tell you. No. Ryan, I really like you but the worst thing has – no! Ugh! Ryan, the truth is I might still have feelings –"

"Jess?"

Ryan's voice on the other side of the bedroom door brought Jess to a halt, and she hopped over the pile of clothes she'd made on the floor and opened the door a crack, peeking out. "Hello."

Ryan's confusion was apparent. "Hi. Were you just talking to me? Without me there?"

Jess shook her head. "No, no, no of course not. That'd be totally weird. No, I was talking to Ryan, my um…. Rat."

Ryan's eyes widened. "Rat?"

"Yeah, yep. Ryan the Rat. Named him way before I met you though. He's more like the loft mascot than a rat, you know? He's a really good listener_, if you got the cheese honey, he's got the time_." She sang. "So. Complete opposite of weird. Hey, can I talk to you in here a minute?"

Ryan glanced over her head as she opened the door up, looking for any sign of wayward vermin. "Sure. Uh, Ryan the Rat is gone, right?"

Jess waved her hand towards the closet. "Yeah, he's gone back in his hole. See ya later Ryan! Good talk!" she yelled in that direction. Taking a seat on the bed, she watched Ryan take a spot next to her.

"So the thing is, well – you know how Nick and I used to go out. And how that break up was hard and believe me when I say we are never getting back together, but we still live together – which you have been super cool about – and we're still friends, and now I have you, and Nick has Kai and –"

Ryan took Jess's hand. "Jess, Jess can I just interrupt your wonderfully incoherent thought there? I need to say something. I know you and Nick have this huge history, and I'll admit, I was pretty weirded out by the living arrangement. But I know we've got something really good here, and I know Nick only wants you to be happy. So we don't have to hash over what's already water under the bridge. We can keep going forward and I for one can't wait to see where we end up."

Jess felt her smile widen, and as she looked into the blue eyes she'd come to care for, she suddenly wished they were brown.

* * *

Nick wiped down the bar, diligently scrubbing at every scuff he could find, and some that were non-existent. Anything to avoid Cece's knowing gaze. But after an hour of feeling her eyes bore into him, he caved.

"What?" He asked, throwing the towel over his shoulder.

"You know what." She said, still as stone.

"Yeah, I know what, but what am I supposed to do about it?"

"You tell Kai?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"And?" she asked again.

"And she was annoyed, and she got past it, moving on."

Cece narrowed her eyes. "She got past the fact that you made out with your ex who you obviously still have feelings for?"

Nick put up his hands in surrender. "Hey, it's not like that ok? It was a lapse, a momentary weakness."

Schmidt's voice came from seemingly nowhere. "Real men never show weakness."

"Really?" Cece asked, narrowing her eyes in Schmidt's direction as he took a seat at the bar. "When we were going out, you said real men aren't afraid to show vulnerability."

Schmidt shook his head. "Weakness and vulnerability are two different things, the latter being mainly a device used to overcome the more feeble minds of women."

"_Feeble_?" Cece said, her temper rising.

"Nick take it from Daddy Schmidt –"

Nick shook his head. "Don't call yourself daddy."

"Never show weakness! Never admit defeat!" Schmidt said raising his fist in the air.

"Ryan!" Cece exclaimed, bringing Nick's attention to their new guest.

Ryan gave a little wave. "Hey guys."

"Jess with you?" Cece asked, looking towards the door. Nick averted his eyes to seem as disinterested as possible and held his breath.

"No, no, but she'll be by in a few minutes."

"You guys talked then?" Cece asked pointedly. Nick shot a look to her that she ignored.

Ryan seemed taken aback by her forwardness, but told her. "Yes we did. About you, actually." He said, nodding to Nick.

"Yeah?" Nick asked cautiously. Cece backed slowly away, turning her attention back to Schmidt. She was already regretting what she was about to say but knew what she had to do. With heavy shoulders she asked "Hey Schmidt, how about you tell me more about real men?"

Schmidt grinned. "Well you've been with the best, why care about the rest?"

"Indulge me." She said flatly.

With Schmidt safely occupied, Nick turned back to Ryan. "So, me huh? Running out of interesting topics?" he asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Well, you know. How things have been… weird. What with you and Jess. And me." Ryan said.

"Right. Weird." Nick replied, trying to avoid too much eye contact.

Ryan continued. "And yeah, at first I was a little jealous, but I know how silly that was now, considering your guys' situation, and I guess what I'm trying to say is we're cool."

"Really?" Nick said with genuine surprise. "Man, I don't know how cool I'd be if it were the other way around, so thanks man. And believe me, it'll never happen again."

"That's what Jess said, but it's good to hear it from you too. Friends?" Ryan put out his hand. Nick took it slowly and they shook. "All right, well, I'm gonna grab a table and wait for Jess I guess."

"All right, man." Nick said, watching him walk to a table across the bar. Cece left Schmidt in mid-monologue, sidling over a bit to Nick.

"That didn't look too bad." She observed.

Nick shrugged. "Yeah, he said we're cool, so I guess that's good, right?"

Cece pursed her lips. "I guess – but if it had been me, I'd have punched you. Something tells me she didn't tell him. Did he actually say she told him?"

Nick shook his head. "You really think she didn't mention it?"

Ryan approached again, interrupting their speculation. "Hey, you know what, I totally forgot drinks. Could I get two Rose's?"

"Yeah sure –" Nick started, pulling out a couple of glasses.

Cece took the glasses from his hands and moved him aside. "Actually I got this. Nick, weren't you supposed to run to the loft to get that thing I asked for?"

Nick heisted before taking the bait. "I don't think I really need to –"

"I insist – that thing is obviously not going to take care of itself, so you need to work it out. Go!" she commanded.

Reluctantly, Nick threw his towel down and headed for the door.

Schmidt tried to follow the conversation, but became exasperated. "What thing? Stop speaking in riddles woman! The thing about what you told him?"

Ryan leaned towards Schmidt and said in a hushed tone. "It's probably about the rat thing. Jess said Cece might still be upset about it, but I don't blame her one bit for not wanting to live with a rodent. More power to you for doing it though."

Schmidt recoiled in disgust. "I'm sorry, a what?"

* * *

Nick reached the loft just as Jess was coming out the door.

"Hey Jess, we need to talk."

Jess was struck by the frankness of his statement backed up into the apartment, allowing Nick to move past her. "Sure. That'll be good."

Closing the door behind her, she turned to face him, letting the full effect of his eyes on hers hit her. Her mind was awash in memories, her skin recalling the feeling of his hands on her body, her breath becoming stilted at the thought of his mouth on hers. Nick's voice broke her reverie.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the thing." He said, toying with his hands.

"Yeah, me too, it's just you know. Feelings. Blech." Jess replied.

Nick chuckled. "Yeah. Ryan musta took it pretty well."

"Huh?" Jess asked.

"Yeah, I caught him at the bar earlier, he didn't seem too upset."

"Wait, what'd you say?" she asked accusingly, pointing towards him.

"Nothin'" he shrugged.

"Nick, you didn't say anything? Like I need you to be very clear, did you mention what happened, like at all?"

"No! Jeez Jess, what does it matter, he's ok with it obviously."

"He can't be okay with something he doesn't know."

"You haven't told him? Cece was right!" he exclaimed.

"No, and if we can keep it on the LDL..."

"The LDL?"

"Loft Down Low." Jess explained.

"That's pretty cool actually."

"… We can maybe just skip past it, it'll be like it never happened, we'll move forward with our respective partners, and Ryan and Kai will be none the wiser."

"Well Kai knows."

"What?"

"I told her last night."

"Oh, um..."

"Yeah, she was pretty outstanding about it."

"Well, that's, uh, good then. No, that's great actually, everyone's just swapping spit and everyone's' cool with it, so, go Team Loft." Jess said with a little cheer fist in the air.

"Don't call it "swapping spit", and that's not what happened. I screwed up and if Ryan can't handle it, then maybe he's not as perfect as you thought." Nick said, his anger rising.

Jess took on an air of superiority. "Ryan would be totally fine with it because he is on a totally secure level about his feelings and even if he wasn't he'd be justified, but it doesn't matter because I'm not gonna take that chance because this could be the real thing and I have more to lose."

Nick became incensed. "More to lose? Do you think because you didn't want to make it work with me that no one else could? I have plenty to lose too, more I'd say since Kai trusts me enough to live in the same space with you and you can't even tell your emotionally secure boy-toy. Looks to me like you don't have much to lose at all."

Jess was taken aback by the venom in his tirade. "You're wrong." She said coldly. "Ryan is the best thing that could have happened to me."

Nick saw the hurt in her eyes, and it cut him sharply. He took a deep breath. "You know what? You're probably right. You might be together forever, or you might break up next week. There's always gonna be someone else in your life, and we gotta stop pretending this is still working."

Jess could feel the tears beginning to sting her face. This moment felt so familiar, like she knew it was coming, yet she knew it would be the first time she heard the words. "Wait – what are you saying?" She held her breath, and steadied her gaze on his face.

He tightened his jaw, almost like he was steadying himself from a tide of emotions he wasn't willing to show her. With tempered restraint, he spoke.

"I'm moving out."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello roomfriends! I apologize for the long delay – RL gets preferential treatment unfortunately. But I'm back, and excited to finish this story with you all!**

Chapter 4

Nick felt himself falling further and further into confusion, replaying the argument in his mind. He rubbed his chin, squeezing his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger and stared seemingly through the wall.

_I'm moving out._

She hadn't responded. She didn't fight. There was no counter argument. In fact, she had spun on her heel so quickly that Nick had barely registered what he had said by the time the elevator doors closed behind her. In the moment, he thought it was the right call. In the moment, he had been cool, collected, and rational. In that moment, while every cell in his body was willing him to sweep her into his arms and finish that kiss, his brain muted everything and made the only logical decision it could. And he regretted it.

Letting out a sigh, he began to rise when a figure clad in a white hazmat suit burst through the front door.

"What the- Schmidt? " He asked, incredulous.

"You see what happens? You see what comes of living with a troll? This is what happens! Rats, Nicholas? Guess I'll start in your room – in the host den." He said, lowering his voice and leering towards Nick's door.

"Schmidt, what are you talking about?"

"You know perfectly well, I'm sure they've been breeding in that hovel for years. I've wrapped my love machine in several layers of plastic wrap for protection from the rat poison, but if my future progeny come out all weird and deformed, well you're gonna see a bad side of Schmiddty mister!"

"We don't have rats, put the spray down. What the hell man?"

"No rats? Well that was a lot of wrapping for nothing. Although, I have to admit, I'm pretty excited to open the gift, if you know what I mean - things get compressed, and like sausage being released from its casing –"

Nick pinched the bridge of his nose, willing himself calm. "Schmidt shut the hell up, I've gotta talk to you."

"Sure man, lemme get this getup off and we'll release the prisoner." Schmidt waddled his way towards his room.

"Whaddya mean _we_? Schmiddty?" Nick yelled at the retreating Schmidt.

"You said what, now?" Schmidt asked in disbelief.

"I told her I was moving out, but –"

Schmidt slapped his legs. "Nick! How could you do this to me? How do I live without you? I want to know. See what you're doing? You've made me use Leann Rimes words against you."

Nick rolled his eyes. "Calm down would ya? If anyone drives me outta the loft, it's gonna be you, with your weird songs-lyrics-as-conversation crap. I'm just tired, Schmiddty, you have no idea."

"Oh, I have no idea? I've only been pining for a woman I can't have and have ruined any chance at a future with – which I still partly blame you for, by the way – meanwhile I'm forced to watch her cavort with baby Crocodile Dundee, but by all means, continue to tell me what it's like to constantly be around your ex-girlfriend."

"Alright, that's fair." Nick said with a head nod.

"So what now. You have a plan?"

"Of course."

Schmidt grinned and pointed at his friend. "That's the Nick Miller I know! What is it?"

Nick shrugged. "This is it."

Schmidt shrugged back. "What's it?"

Nick waved his hand at Schmidt. "This. Talking to you. I figured you would know what to do –"

"Oh, I'm the plan?" Schmidt asked, gesturing towards himself.

"Yeah."

"Wow. Ok, yeah, we can hash this out." Schmidt paused for a moment, thinking. "Ok, here we go, off the top of my head: tell her you had mercury poisoning."

Nick frowned. "What? That's terrible! What is that? That's not even real!"

"It's totally real, man! It's from eating too much sushi. Makes you ramble, gives you the sweats – so when you lie to her and she knows it, you can just tell her it's a symptom of the poison."

"That's a horrible idea." Nick said, shaking his head.

"What, it's a great plan!"

"Schmidt, I would rather pack everything I own into a huge box and carry it on my back through the streets than put a piece of cold raw fish in my mouth."

Schmidt shook his head. "What are you - you don't have to eat it man! You're just gonna tell her you did."

Nick thought for a moment. "So I don't have to eat the fish, I just lie that I did."

"Yes" Schmidt confirmed.

"And the sweating, that's a real symptom?" Nick asked.

Schmidt nodded. "According to Jeremy Piven."

"Who?"

"Come on Nick, we watched season 1 of Entourage together! Valentine's Day, 2009? Did that mean nothing to you?" Schmidt hollered.

"Of course it meant nothing, we're men!" Nick yelled.

Schmidt rose from the table, angrily waving his arms. "I can't believe you would say that!"

"Look, we're getting off topic. You really think this will work?" Nick asked, still unsure.

"Nah, man, but it's better than admitting you were wrong."

Jess had held her tears until the elevator doors closed, but that would have been more impressive if she hadn't hauled ass there in the first place. The movement of the elevator moving down mirrored the feeling in the pit of her stomach. A warmth began to settle there, and spread through her body, as she slowly lost the numbness Nick's kiss had instilled in her. With the opening of the elevator doors, she focused on the objective: getting to Cece.

Inside the bar, Cece continued her labored listening of Schmidt's thoughts on rats, and he had a lot of them.

"Number twelve – you can't keep them out. No place is safe from the hell spawn! Can a murderer squeeze itself through a quarter sized hole? Yes! And that murderer has a scaly tail and beady eyes. Oh, what's that you say –"

"I didn't say a thing." Cece assured him.

Schmidt continued in a high pitched squeal ."- Schmidt, Schmidt, I've caught him, we're safe!" He banged his hand on the bar, causing Cece to jump back. "WRONG! Because now you're holding a virtually indestructible little varmint. Did you know they'll test new foods to make sure it doesn't kill them? That's right Cece – they _know_." Schmidt leaned in and whispered, "_They're learning_."

Cece rolled her eyes, and caught sight of Jess making a beeline for her. "Oh, thank God."

"Oh look who it is, the Rat Queen of LA." Schmidt said, looking not-so-unusually annoyed in Jess' direction.

Jess ignored him and focused on her best friend. "Not now Schmidt – Cece I need to talk to you!"

Schmidt was undeterred. "Believe me, I don't want to get in the middle of this hen-fest! I've got a real problem, thanks in no small part to you, Jessica Day! Now I have to use my hazmat suit for its intended purpose rather than a sexually graphic experience!" Schmidt rose from his seat, downed that last of his drink and shook his shoulders. "It's kill time."

Cece shook her head and sighed as he left the bar. "This is my life now. Listening to Schmidt complain about non-existent problems."

"Well then you're going to be glad to hear I have a real doozy for ya." Jess said, taking a seat. "Nick says he's moving out!"

"What?"

"Yeah! I don't know what to do Cece. I mean, was kissing Nick a mistake? Yes, definitely! In our defense though, we've been really, really good until now. We've been eating salad for months, and we saw a piece of cheesecake, and now I've had a taste of that cheesecake, but I'm willing to put the cheesecake back in the fridge and go back to my salad! But Nick can't just go back to the salad! He's wants to just throw away the cheesecake!"

"Ok, Jess, I know you're upset, and I want to listen, but –" Cece tried to explain.

Jess continued, unaware of her friend's growing concern. "I guess it was just too hard, you know? Too much to expect Nick Miller to be a friggin' grown up, and not run away!"

"Jess –" Cece began to gesture emphatically with her eyes. But Jess just got louder.

"And he acted like it was somehow my fault! Which I'll admit, yeah, maybe I could have not kissed him back, but at the end of the day, the fact remains that _Nick_ kissed _me_!"

"Jess!" Cece said firmly, slapping the counter.

"What?" Jess asked, annoyed.

Cece nodded towards the person standing directly behind Jess. "Ryan is here."

Jess' eyes went wide, and she turned slowly to meet Ryans shocked face.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Jess?" Ryan asked, looking at her expectantly.

"Ryannnn! I forgot about you, you saucy little Britonian! Is it Britonian? Or Britain?" she asked, in a futile attempt at stalling.

"It's British subject, actu – never mind that! Jess, is that true? Nick kissed you?"

"It's not _not_ true, that is to say it's not a falsehood per _say_, so to sum up, it could be interpreted as a fabrication except that it's _not_."

"Jess, you do realize I'm a teacher, not an idiot?"

Jess' countenance fell, and with a glance back to Cece, she mustered her courage. "Yes. Nick kissed me."

Ryan moved his hands to his hips and asked, "When?"

"Yesterday. Last night, actually, before dinner. Ryan, I'm so sorry, I should have told you sooner, I just didn't know how I felt about it and –" she said quickly.

"Didn't know how you felt about it?" he asked, his voice agitated. "Jess, it should be pretty damn clear how to feel about it! You're my girlfriend! I'm quite upset! You should be too!" he demanded. Jess looked at her hands balled in her lap. "Unless …" he began. Jess looked up and into the eyes of dawning realization. "Unless you still have feelings for him." He said slowly.

Jess sighed quietly, almost whispering to herself. "I think I do. I don't know what exactly those feelings are, but they're still there, and it's not fair to you. Ryan, I'm so sorry." Tears began to brim in her eyes, as Ryan nodded at the ground.

"I guess that's it then. Well then … goodbye, Jess." Jess nodded, tears beginning to burn under her skin. Ryan gave a small wave and shoving his hands in his pockets, made his way out the bar.

Jess turned to Cece. "You did the right thing babe. He needed to know, and now you can figure out this thing with Nick."

Jess nodded, and then started to cry again. "Except I can't. He still has a girlfriend. He was right, Cece."

"Right?" Cece inquired.

"He said it wasn't working, us living together in the loft. He said Ryan wasn't going to stay. He was right about everything."

Cece waved her hand in the air. "To hell with what Nick Miller said! He doesn't get to decide for you what works and what doesn't. If you really want to stay in that loft, you'll figure it out. But before you can do that, you have to figure out what's going on between you and Nick. Look, it's simple: do you still love Nick?"

"It's not that simple Cece! He has a girlfriend and –" Jess argued.

"Do you love Nick?" Cece repeated.

"Maybe we just went back to friends too soon, you know? Maybe we should have let things cool a little longer –" she reasoned.

Cece reached for her friends expressive hands and balled them into hers on the bar. _"Do. You. Love. Him?" _she asked, emphasizing her words.

Jess closed her eyes and took a breath. "Yes." She admitted.

Nick lay on his bed, his hands pressed into his eyes. He repeated his story to himself. _It was mercury poisoning. Mercury poisoning from the sushi. Wait, was it sushi? Or was it salmon? Does all fish have mercury? Salmon is pink right? So maybe that's where it gets the name, because mercury the planet it red. Yeah, that makes sense. Mercury poison from the – wait, but mercury is silver. Catfish is silver too. Can you get it from catfish? Dammit Miller, focus! Keep it simple – you got mercury poisoning from salm – no sushi!"_

"Agggghhh!" he groaned to himself. "This is ridiculous, Schmidt's an idiot. Just tell her the truth. You don't wanna move out, let things go back to messed up slash normal."

Rising from his bed, he went to his closet and rooted around on the floor, finding his favorite green tee. That's when he heard her.

"Nick?" her voice muffled by the door and followed by a light tapping.

"Uh, yeah, just a minute." He said hurriedly, pulling the shirt down over his head and taking a panicky look around. Bringing his hand to the back of his head, he steadied himself. "Come in."

Jess slowly opened the door, and caught sight of a flustered Nick. "Um, sorry, was I interrupting something? Usually you're "doing stuff" in the morning –"

Nick made a turtle face and quickly stopped her. "No! No, I was just um …. Did you need something?"

Jess straightened her glasses and crossed her arms. "Yeah, I just thought maybe we should talk about what happened this morning. And other… events that have occurred." She said slowly.

"We don't have to." He said quickly with a shrug.

"Nick, I really think we should. Some things have changed and –"

"Salmon!" he blurted at her.

Jess shook her head and closed her eyes. "What?"

Nick tried to recover. "It's the fish poison! Yeah, um, I'm not feeling great, I think I need to go, uh … somewhere. Yeah, I gotta meet Kai anyway." He said in a shaky voice, making his way for the door. Jess stood in front of it, blocking his means of escape. He held her firm by the shoulders and moved her aside. Grabbing the knob, he opened the door and rushed into the hallway, Jess following him.

"Fish poison?" she asked, clearly not falling for it. "Nick, don't run away from me, we need – "

Nick stopped, suddenly sick of hearing those words and he rounded on her.

"No Jess!" he said forcefully, taking in her widened stare. "We don't need to talk about anything! I'm so sick of talking about things! You know, first you don't want to be with me because I don't talk. Then, I tell you what I think and you decide we don't think enough alike! Well guess what? You don't get to know what I'm feeling! You decided that months ago. You're not my girlfriend anymore!"

"I decided?" she said, appalled. "You're the one who missed "being friends"! You really think I'm the only one who wanted out? What do you _want_ from me? You were the one who bailed first Miller!" Jess was breathing heavily, seething at his accusations. The weight of her glare was enough to clear Nick's thoughts long enough to declare surrender, because the truth was he just didn't want to fight her anymore.

"Yeah, maybe I did." He said flatly. "But you didn't fight it." And with that statement, all of Jess' anger dissipated, and a subtle numbness began to creep over her body. She could see she was losing him, and this wasn't just a classic "Nick Miller Freak-out" – this was real. This was ending. He held her eyes for a moment, and turned to leave.

She wasn't ready. Not now that she had realized how much she still loved him. Presented with the prospect that she might actually lose him once and for all, she acted. Grabbing his arm, she pulled him back around to face her. His cold reserve began to thaw under the warmth of her touch. She held him there, looking at his features and tugging the sleeves of his shirt. She sniffed. "I'm not done. We're not done, right?" she asked, imploring him to hear her. "Please, you have to listen to me, I'm not ready to give up. I'm ready to fight this time, ok? Just don't go. Please don't go."

The pain in her voice was too much for Nick to ignore. "Hey, hey," he whispered. "I'm not goin' anywhere. Ever." His hands found themselves in familiar places at her hip and in her hair, and at once he was pulling her lips to his. The taste of her mouth mixed with her tears and he swore he could feel her lips smiling. Backing her into his room, he slammed the door shut behind them. Once in the room, he pulled his lips away from hers, breaking the heat between them, but not the charge. Jess hands stayed firmly on his biceps as she searched his eyes for an explanation of his acquittal.

"You asked what I wanted from you." He said breathlessly. Jess watched the seriousness of his expression match his tone. "I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to come home and find you here - or be here when you come home. I want to bring you tea in bed and make you messy breakfasts." He chuckled as she giggle along with him. "I want to marry you." he said huskily, his voice shaking slightly. "I want us to have children with your beautiful eyes and my laid-back fashion sense." He said, smiling at his joke.

She swallowed, mesmerized by his words. Jess felt her eyes fill again and blinked, the tears rolling down her cheeks. He lifted a hand to wipe them away with his thumb.

"I want a future with you, Jess. That's what I want. What do you want?"

Jess brought her hand to the side of his face, feeling the rough stubble on her palm. In her head, it wasn't her voice she heard, or Nicks. It was Cece's. _"It's simple Jess. Do you love him?"_ After all the fighting, the breakups, and forbidden kisses in hallways, Jess giggled at how absolutely simple it had been all along.

"_You_, you clown." she said, slipping her arms around his neck and lifting herself onto her toes to reach his ear. "_Just you_." She repeated in a whisper, and bringing herself back down, she kept her eyes locked on his, and unable to stay away one second longer, he brought his mouth hard down on hers.

**So ends this story, roomfriends. I hope to meet you all again with a new one soon **


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